Let’s talk weddings

Not a year goes by that I’m not invited to a wedding, and I know I’m not alone. This year, we’re going to three!

We got engaged a year ago. I know, I know, what are we playing at?

Mr M, as I refer to my other half, had the idea, planned the engagement, bought the ring… and got made redundant just after Christmas. He did really well hiding the surprise (a trip to New York) whilst job searching, and 4 months later we boarded the plane to where he would ask me to marry him. It was magical, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. The sad part is that it took almost 4 more months for someone to hire him. That meant a lot of our savings went on the house (as I’m on a lower income than he is) and so we are only just now in a position to start sorting it all out.

I’m a traditional person. I never really dreamt of getting married, I’m quite realistic and don’t see the point in getting your hopes up for something if there’s no degree of certainty about it. But I always thought that if I did, that my Nana would make my cake and dress, my Grandad would give me away, and it would be at our “family church”, as it’s always been in my family. 

I was wrong.

We have had so much grief from trying to organise the church! 

People keep saying “just elope” or “just go to a registry office” but I can’t just ignore something I’ve had my heart set on, when I didn’t even think anyone would want to marry me, let alone the same person I wanted to spend my life with.

The lady who owns the place we want for the reception has been nothing short of wonderful. Shes been great at responding, and has even kept this date for us without a deposit, because she understands how hard it is to plan.

The Church has been awful. The priest is new, so he doesn’t know who we are (we don’t go to mass there anymore) and the church secretary, despite being a long time family friend, having gone to school with my Mom and aunts and living opposite my Mom, has been useless. She doesn’t chase things up. I asked for our home to be blessed when we moved in (I told you, I’m traditional) and that’s still not been organised (we moved in three years ago!) I’ve had to call over and over and over, they’ve made it very difficult, and have given airy-fairy reasons for not getting in contact.

My Nana would roll in her grave if she knew how the church was treating us, yet I feel like we should just go elsewhere because of be upset they’ve caused us. At one point on the phone I was in tears because of how hard they’re making it, because my Nana isn’t here to make the cake or dress, because my Grandad probably won’t live to see me get married, and because I might be the first person in our family to not get married there… she wasn’t even sympathetic with me on the phone. The years I’ve sat for her little boy, fed him, seen her at family parties, and she can’t muster a “sorry” when I’m in tears on the phone.

I just feel like there’s something they’re not telling us, like there’s a reason they don’t want us to get married there. Like they’re being typical Catholics, judging us and making us suffer.

Have you ever had any issues like this? What did you do?


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